


this kiss in the parking lot is turning me to stone

by teamfreeawesome



Series: all i want for christmas is... you? [4]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Christmas, M/M, Nate POV, Pining, Pre-OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 20:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13302912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamfreeawesome/pseuds/teamfreeawesome
Summary: Nate has loved Tyson since he knew what lovewas. Gabe, though... That was a surprise.





	this kiss in the parking lot is turning me to stone

**Author's Note:**

> A Nate interlude !!!! 
> 
> Also! Apparently, if I write a series, it'll turn into angsty melodrama... whoops!! Think, like. Soap opera. 
> 
> Title from 'I'm Not Made By Design' by Nothing But Thieves. 
> 
> Disclaimer: No harm was intended by the writing of this. I don't, in any way, equate these fictional characters to their real-life counter parts.

Nate has loved Tyson since –

Since –

 

//

 

They’re nineteen, and drunk.

Nate’s room smells like spilt beer and chips, and Tyson’s face is so flushed. He’s squished onto Nate’s single bed, the sheets rumpled beneath him. There’s barely enough room for them both, and Tyson is lying so close that Nate can’t breathe.

“Tell me a secret,” Nate whispers.

Reaches out to touch a button on Tyson’s shirt. Brushes the slippery plastic with his fingers.

“You know all my secrets,” Tyson says, and he smiles.

It’s a lot. _Tyson_ is a lot. A smile transforms his face. It’s like light flooding into a room, the curtains ripped back on a summer’s morning, and Nate kind of hates it. Hates the way it makes his heart ache. The way it makes him feel more drunk. The room is spinning, and Tyson’s at the centre, the only thing that feels solid.

“Tell me one anyway.”

Tyson hums thoughtfully. Rolls onto his back and sighs, a drunken, relaxed kind of sound.

“I was the one who put shaving foam in your shoes last summer,” Tyson says, and he’s grinning. Nate can hear it in his voice, even if all he can see is Tyson’s side, Tyson’s arm, and the soft place where Tyson’s shirt has risen a little, a small strip of skin at his hip revealed. “I didn’t mean to! I thought they were Matt’s shoes.”

“Ty _son_ ,” Nate says, but he can’t help laughing.

“Mm,” Tyson hums. “Now you,” he says, shifting until he’s on his side, facing Nate again.

“Now me, what?”

Nate heart feels like it’s too big for his chest. It’s swollen, huge and heavy, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to breathe around it. Tyson’s face is really close. _Tyson_ is really close. He smells like Axe body spray and sweat. His hair is sticking to his skin at the edges.

“Now you tell me a secret,” Tyson murmurs. “A good one.”

“I -” Nate starts, but it sticks in his throat.

He has secrets. Everyone has secrets, but. His secrets are the kind of secrets he’s not sure he wants to share.

“You can tell me,” Tyson says, and it’s so soft.

He’s drunk enough that his eyes are heavy lidded, his mouth a little soft. Nate wants to press his thumb to the skin there. Feel how warm Tyson is.

“I love you,” Nate says. “I love you.”

Tyson blinks, once, before he laughs softly.

“Nate,” he admonishes. “That’s not a secret. I love you, too. You’re my best friend.”

He falls asleep barely a minute later, mouth open and snoring. It leaves Nate feeling a little bit shattered. A little bit bruised, sore and misunderstood.

 

//

 

Gabe is really hot. Like, _really_ hot.

Nate meets Gabe when he moves in, and he’s so fucking hot. He has all this blond hair, a soft-looking beard that Nate would like to touch, and the kind of arms that Nate knows Tyson has a weakness for. And then –

Gabe smiles. It’s a little bit warm. A little bit sharp. Nate can’t breathe.

“Hi,” he says, and Nate’s stomach quivers. His palms start to sweat. “I’m Gabe.”

“I know,” Nate says, and it comes out all breathless and awed. Nate wants to kick himself. “I’m Nate.”

“I know.”

Gabe laughs a little, and Nate wants to roll around in it. Fill a bathtub with Gabe’s laughter and soak it into his skin. It’s disconcerting, how much he likes Gabe, instantly and irrevocably, and maybe explains why he doesn’t tell Tyson about Gabe until the last minute. It ends up being a shit-show, anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Nate says, later, in the pub. “He’s great once he warms up to you, I promise.”

Gabe just laughs. Rubs one of his big hands over his chin.

“Sure,” he says with a wink.

Nate’s cheeks flush, and he ducks his head. 

Fuck. 

 

//

 

 

“How long have you two known each other?” Gabe asks.

Nate feels bad, meeting up like this, without Tyson knowing, but. Tyson is being ridiculous, and Nate may love him, but that doesn’t mean he has to agree with Tyson about Gabe. The guilt is hard to shake, though.

“My whole life,” Nate says, and it comes out a little hoarse.

“Oh,” Gabe says, like he’s only just realising something. His forehead wrinkles. “ _Oh_ ,” he says again. “It’s like that?”

And Nate can only breathe. Out. In.

“Yeah,” he gets out. “I -”

But Gabe stops him. Smiles, so soft at the edges that Nate wants to cry.

“You should tell him,” he says, and –

Nate is so fucking screwed.

 

//

 

Matt’s in love with Tyson, too. It’s –

Fuck.

 

//

 

EJ knocks on Nate’s door about a week after Nate and Tyson get back from Uncle Rob’s.

“Let me in,” EJ says, as soon as Nate opens the door. He pushes past Nate, and heads towards the kitchen. “This is ridiculous. You’re both being ridiculous.”

Nate sighs. Lets his shoulders sag.

“I know,” he says.

“I mean,” EJ says, one hand hovering over the coffee maker. He looks at Nate over his shoulder, and lets his hand fall. “He’s being even more ridiculous about this than you are, but that’s par the course, at this point.” He sighs. Turns to face Nate properly. “You know that Tyson doesn’t know how you feel, right? That there’s no way for him to know, because you’ve never told him.”

“I -” Nate starts, but it gets stuck around the lump in his throat.

“Nate,” EJ sighs. “He knows he’s done something wrong, but he's got no idea what it is. He's got no idea why you’re not talking to him.”

Nate feels his mouth crumple, and suddenly he’s crying, great, hacking sobs as EJ makes alarmed noises.

“I just -” Nate sobs. “I don’t know what I’m _doing_.”

“Uh,” EJ says, hovering awkwardly as Nate cries.

“I love Tyson, and then – I met Gabe, and I really like him, too… I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Shit,” he wipes at his eyes. Swallows the tears back, and clears his throat. “I’m too old for this. I’m not eighteen anymore, this is ridiculous.”

“I don’t know that you’re ever too old for this kind of shit,” EJ says, so gently that it only makes Nate feel worse.

“Great,” Nate says. “That’s just great.”

 

//

 

“The two of you have always been inseparable,” his mom says, and her mouth is all twisted like Nate’s pain is hurting her too.

“I love him,” Nate says, and it comes out choked. Awful.

It feels like all he can do is curl in on himself, small, like maybe that will make things hurt less. Snow is falling outside, and his mom has all the Christmas lights on inside. It makes Nate’s stomach shudder.

“I know,” she says, softly. She reaches out. Brushes his hair back. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know if this needs more tags !!!


End file.
